unfolding the unbearable tag containing balance and holding

In the year 1970 three beautiful babies were born to three mothers on the same day. Martha’s baby was born breech and had to be delivered with forceps. Jillian’s was born normally, and Francis’s was born by caesarean section. Let’s imagine for the purpose of understanding regression and unfolding that each of these children grew up affected in different ways from their birth, and that these affects were evidenced throughout life, and most importantly at the regressive unfolding during the pandemic.Of course their birth was one of the first trauma’s each child suffered they did suffer others in the ensuing years.In addition they learn’t bad and good coping mechanisms some of which came from trans generational traumas carried unresolved through family generations.

It is too simplistic to assert that each birth fits certain behaviours as there are so many variables involved, however during the pandemic similar and different affects came to light, for example Martha’s mother found it difficult to cope with early difficulties with her daughter, the baby cried a lot and Martha had difficulties bonding with her not only did she leave her baby for long periods of time unattended, but she could not connect to her in many other ways. Francis felt a deep loss because she hadn’t seen her baby born and she couldn’t forgive herself for this. Jillian couldn’t feed her baby and carried this as failure and regret which made her over possessive and neurotic.

Birth is one of the first traumas in life, unfortunately some babies and mothers experience trauma whist baby is in the womb. Imagine, if you will the womb as a safe place, where in normal circumstances everything for babies food development and needs is provided, being born is a terror and the first thing a baby needs after birth is to see its mother’s face, because it is here that the first mirroring of love and altogether rightness is seen.If this happens it supports a beginning of rightness with self, the world and others. So begins mum’s holding and containing, and with growth, love care, and development eventually the child learns to hold and contain,him, or herself.

When trauma, and subsequent unfolding occur we are by it’s very nature, and the sheer terror of it likely to regress to survival mode, and consequently feel and see things from that perspective how or if this happens to us depends on many variables including our support system and coping mechanisms, and that amazing core resilience which many human beings have developed throughout their lives.

If you have had mental health problems always seek the advise of your GP before undertaking any new exercises but if you are able begin to understand many of us have become fearful and a bit paranoid because we are in survival mode and need assurance about many things which currently we cant have.

Nature can have a healing effect on us so let’s keep out in it if we can, it has the ability to renew and restore all our senses. Don’t forget balance is a very important sense so allow nature, and your faith , if you have one, to support you. Remember mother can only be ‘good enough’birth is only the beginning of a life of love and care we may find ourselves in a loving and caring and most importantly a balanced home environment. If you have difficulties unfold them in a safe place, and by degrees, make healthy coping mechanisms,and come to dwell in yourself and in the world in a safe and healthy way.

.HOW LOVELY IS YOUR DWELLING PLACE LORD OF HEAVEN AND EARTH PSALM 84