IN OVER YOUR HEAD

TAG BOUNDARIES

The world, has, for along time been moving at a run with deep and consistent pressures on many people, even the great collapse and subsequent recovery in 2008 and following has not tamed the pressures and greed which has entered into our cultures all over the earth. Nevertheless there are still many people and areas of the world where human beings suffer indescribable suffering hunger and want. It seems there are no boundaries when we follow our uncontrolled desires and avarice.

Everyday , if one has to go out, we are faced with the caption ‘we’re all in this together’, and of course this was made to encourage us to work together to prevent further spread of the virus, but this advertisement also pictures the lack of boundaries no one can say with surety that they are not in this crisis and because this is the case it increases the need for understanding how to support one another and step aside for renewal.

If we take the stance that each of us has a responsibility to care for the other that is , if you like, the foundation from which we begin to build an understanding of boundaries in this context and within caring roles from quasi-professional to trained senior professionals. Boundaries or the lack of them cause problems within our relationships at world level,and in every level of live and living, including personal relationships.

Separation and connection are just two words which crowd my mind when I attempt to consider the serious mental health issues which are emerging as a result of the crisis. Once again these words describe so many areas of life at the moment.We have been separated through lock-down and bereavement, and separated from many routine important things within our daily living including our basic right to live with freedom. As for connections on a physical level of touch and hug we have in many cases experienced fear and desperation, even guilt, terrible things are happening and we cannot connect with our friends and loved ones as we would like to.

On a personal level and in groups many have tried to learn how to overcome these handicaps through the use of virtual tools where at least we can see and hear one another in various ways and contexts. It does not replace touch or physical holding which are so central to healing in small and large ways.

It is important that we do not leave this blog without stating clearly and without denial that the world has been in trauma in a continual way, and that this is still continuing. This situation brings much that is unknown into the public domain and causes the huge problem of ‘dealing with the unknown’ in our daily and personal lives. Human beings do not deal well with this as that which is unknown can not be consciously contained, and accordingly creates anxiety and other deep stresses on our mental health.

The situation we are in has positive aspects in regard to caring for others and in challenging at personal and institutional levels, not least with regard to setting boundaries for ourselves individually, and at organisational level taking’duty to care’ for workers seriously by providing them with training enabling them to understand their needs with regard to supervision and personal care and providing ways for them to act on it.

Have you grasped this, the world has developed many finicky techniques through various therapies which may have some uses but do not always strengthen our inner self and resilience with regard to coping, in fact they often support our unhealthy denial practices.

State the facts! we are living in ongoing continual trauma we must be sensible and loving in our compassion and caring understanding our friends and clients boundaries and our own in order to live and work safely! If you as a worker think you can empathise with anyone you are wrong true empathy requires the ability to enter into the others world ‘as if’ you were them, and have the further ability to step back into your own world safely. We can still love people but we need a boundary and not an arrogance when understanding how, who, and when we can safely help.

Our bodies are wonderful complex entities made up of many connected systems governed by another complex system, ‘the brain’ it is not only what we live in .but a metaphor for managing boundaries and connections.

DON’T GET IN OVER YOUR HEAD!