TAG RECOVERY WALKING

I will begin by recaping on previous blogs, in which we were looking at the notion of the pandemic as causing continuing trauma stress, which need not end in Post traumatic stress disorder, but could be managed by learning and practising methods of walking in recovery.It is , of course, true that some of those most severely affected will be at risk of having post traumatic stress disorder, but let’s continue with the possibility of ‘living in recovery.’

Imagine recovery as a beautiful field newly sewn out and smelling sweet, but also containing harmful, damaging weeds. As a child I loved the smell and beauty of reseeded pastures, and always felt sad when the travelling communities would let their horses out of control nearby and they would trample and destroy the grass making space for weeds.

This picture tells a story of possible recovery for nature does recover, and make space for new things, and little creatures seeking to survive find a niche and make it a home, but when viewed as weeds they may be removed as spoilers.As with all metaphors they contain useful information, but they need to be used by us to apply to our various situations within our unique situation.

Some of the things we may find in the above are space for renewal, freshness, new sights, sounds, smells , and the choruses and cycles of nature to be amazed at. It may be a place of relaxation and spiritual renewal.

As you have been learning the skills of coping with the anxiety brought about by the constantly creeping, seeping, crafty, COVID 19 , and attempting to renew your mind by living within a recovery reflective way consider once again what have you learned about yourself?What is happening with you now? if you feel ready and are in a safe place let’s learn to use and extend your imagination to renew your spirit.

Settle yourself into a comfortable stance, you may be in your chair with your body balanced, and your feet planted firmly on the ground, or alternately you may wish to lie on your couch or some other place. Feel your way into this space, and tell yourself you will stop if you do not feel comfortable by going to your safe place in your mind, a place of your choosing which is like sitting on a warm mummies lap nuzzling into her, just whatever is special and uniquely yours.

Close your eyes and follow through with your breathing excercises beginning by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, and then following your breath throughout your body breathing into areas of pain and distress. When you are relaxed begin to imagine you are in a beautiful field something like we above , you are totally relaxed and can hear the sounds, and smell the smell of nature all around you you smell aromas which you never really paid attention to before, absorb them and be amazed by them. As the quietness supports you become aware of someone beside you reaching out for your hand, you take it, and begin to walk alongside each other and you climb the hill which ascends upward above your beautiful field, you notice there is a lovely glistening lake below you are amazed and then move on, and the one who took your hand continues with you. At the top of the hill there is a seat and you sit down to rest.

Soon you open your eyes and gaze around, the other is not holding your hand, but the feeling is still there slowly you realise you have touched the depths of yourself and learn you have the potential to care for yourself through body, mind and spirit, and you can access this at any time, it is within you! It is a gift from God when he made you.

GO ON ACCESS YOUR POTENTIAL, BREATH, WALK RUN, SMELL BE AMAZED OR EVEN ASTOUNDED!

DO NOT ENGAGE IN THESE EXERCISES IF YOU ARE IN THE CARE OF A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL!

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Have you ever felt lobsided? perhaps as if all the problems you have are located in one side of your body whilst the other side is empty, it’s almost , as though you are completely off balance living life in a very stressful way, but you may not realise this until you allow yourself to stop and give thought to it, this is why meditative and reflective skills can be so useful. Essentially you are training yourself to take stock of what is happening to your body and spirit.

Learning to live within a constant recovery frame during this inciduous traumatic stress environment involves the ability to take stock of what is happening to you now, and to be aware of the in bred skills of engaging brain mind body and breath to centre and stabilise yourself.

I was born with a spinal curvature, and yet, it is possible during reflective times to visualise your spinal cord straight and the ability to connecting to your brain, and subsequently allowing and facilitating the flow of information through your body, of course, to begin with, you may find it easier to learn this skill when practising your meditative breathing while sitting in your chair paying attention to your breathing and body experience, as it is at such a time, you may find you can connect through your breathing to the lobsided place and breathe into it.

Such action improves focus and eventually you will learn to do this whilst walking as you will ,through your stress management learn to respond in the now. Imagine walking in the park, and feeling this lobsided feeling, you can centre yourself immediately by walking as straight as you can and visualising your spinal column right in the middle of your back connecting to your brain, and learning to quietly follow your breath to the place of blockage and breathe into it, it really is amazing how this helps.

These small practises are amazing, and illustrate how comparatively easy it is to manage living in a continual framework of recovery when you get to know your body, and its own power to heal, it is built in there just waiting to be accessed, and eventually as we come to know this releases positive feelings , and a clarity of thinking for the recovery walk.

KNOW YOURSELF, FOCUS WALK IN IT MORE NEXT TIME

RECOVERY, INCIDIOUS STRESS

Since the beginning of the pandemic we have been living with ongoing inciduous trauma and its affects. It has saddened and interested me to see folk getting depressed and thinking they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Although society has now quite a grasp of stress related issues it is still possible to confuse the feelings we have, and name them as PTSD, which is a complex illness, and may occur in people who have gone through COVID 19 and been very ill, or viewed or experienced other dreadful things during the ongoing lockdown, and restrictions to what they previously considered normal life.

I have a life long friend who always says ‘keep on keeping on’ , and this is what many of us have been trying to do, but, lets be honest, we have been denying, and pushing aside our real feelings and stresses. It’s easy to do this as we have not been meeting as frequently and just talking naturally to our friends face to face. The face is so important as it reflects the soul, and mirrors the other person’s even when there is silence between them.

Inciduous, and ongoing stress brought about by the pandemic is characterised by behaviours which have a negative effect on our well being, but, from which it is possible to recover.

It seems to me that , for many, they exist in a state of hyperarousal as the ongoing nature of the Covid induced stress makes it difficult to switch off. If this is you I challenge you to begin to acknowledge your problem. Find a quiet safe place in your home or other spot, and seat yourself comfortably, close your eyes, begin by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth then slow down, if you can and follow your breathing around your body, stop where your breathing journey highlights pain or stress and breathe into that part and then move on. When you have completed this relaxation become aware of yourself again, in the room open your eyes and return to the room.

The next step is to ask yourself, What is my story at the moment? Here is an example:-

Jed is an older man who lost his wife at the beginning of the pandemic he had been her carer for some years, and at the end was not allowed to visit her, so she died alone, and he dealt with it alone as none of his family were with him in the lock down period. There was no funeral or memorial, and no neighbours visited. Jed could not link to what was happening,it did not seem real, and the world did not seem steady or safe.

Jed was afraid of the shops, and had no one to shop for him, he felt an overwhelming sadness, and sometimes rage which was almost uncontrollable., but he was a competent man and he began to think how he could manage, he began to go to the shops wearing gloves and a mask, but was terrified if anyone brushed agnaist him, or sneezed near him.

When he came home he changed all his clothes and washed them and himself, and of course afterwards he felt very tired.He also wiped all the groceries each time he brought them home keeping them outside whilst he did this. These rituals seemed to help but the tiredness increased.

After some months he sat down and took stock thinking through his story, and trying to accept that it was real. He began to focus on a more healthy routine for his day, and to return to his purpose and meaning for life and living. Jed had a Christian faith and this helped him because he believed that, although the world was in chaos he still knew thatGOD was holding things in control and in check.

Gradually he was able to be more in the moment when he thought of his story and to put things in their place, I feel like this because. I have had so much trauma in my life, which I have managed, but still am scared by it.I feel like this because I have lost my life’s partner in abnormal circumstances. I feel like this because I am scared of the virus which killed my wife, and I have no-one to help me.

Jed continued by declaring, ”I now feel relief and a determination to contain and transform these feelings.”Jed used to write small encouraging blogs so he made a plan to begin those again , and to apply them to his. experience of the pandemic hoping it would also help others.

Ahead of beginning this he made a list of positive goals and methods of coping so that as the pandemic continued he would live in recovery. He began by writing small articles on everyday things to build his confidence and pick up this competence which he still had, although he had allowed it to go underground. He then made the following list which he, at this time, considered to be important to living in constant recovery, and he knew as he did this, shared on his blog, he would gain new information to review and update his recovery practice.

Here is the list, follow his example:-

Having listened to your narrative make it yours,and decide to change it.

Face your fears

Practice self compassion

Meditate

Cultivate forgiveness for self and others.

FOLLOW THIS FOR YOURSELF AND WE WILL RETURN TO IT LATER–ADD YOUR EXPERIENCE SO THE WAY TO LIVE IN RECOVERY IS DEVELOPED AND CONTINUED.

As I was writing the previous blog on the safe place the tension was mounting around the Ukraine crisis, and it seemed so ‘present’ in the very room, and almost stupid to be talking of safety in the midst of such fear, and as it has progressed such devastation and utter lack of humanity, and yet there is always the other side when people respond with love and compassion to a crisis that seems impossible to overcome.

Feeling safe begins in yourself being contained and grounded living life in a balanced way. We will look more at these words and what they mean as we progress through this blog. However, it is essential, in order to feel safe, to have sound leadership, and professional operating institutions run by trustworthy people, and honest leaders.

If we are being generous we can see that we do not have this, and it is difficult to expect it as all humanity is in crisis traumatized, and regressed no one has escaped the terror of the past two years, which now include increasing fears of ‘global warming’ and more wars. It seems that monsters are everywhere in every stratum of society, and it would be easy to lose hope.

So much of the bible tells not just of the rotten deeds of the ungodly, but of forgiveness, hope, and safety. There are too many to list in this blog, but let’s embrace groundedness and hope and tease out what these words might mean for us. In Psalm 18 verse two we read:-

The Lord is my rock and my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my strength, in whom I will trust, my buckler and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower, written by David when God rescued him from the hand of Saul David responds to God for his goodness I love you oh God you are my strength. In Proverbs 18:10 we read the name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous run into it and are safe.

This leads us to the notion of ‘groundedness’, a friend challenged me to describe this word to the ‘man in the street’ not assume that it is immediately understood. It has been central to my thinking throughout the pandemic, as we have all been shifted about like ships without rudders, and rather like ‘ the Duke York’s ten thousand men we are neither up nor down, leadership has been confusing and at times rather crazy almost as if we were holding on to straws whilst trying to climb the side of sheer cliffs, and of course falling back and being smashed on the rocks below.

Meditating requires the practice of being grounded in faith and ‘what gives life meaning for you. It requires centering oneself in a belief and faith which holds, grounds, and contains us, our beliefs give us a position that. allows us to stand firm and trust. Grounded means many things but first, it means centered steady, and able to hold a position of safety, even when we are not safe. If you like, it is about having a theory, or consciousness behind, and within your way of living that gives you meaning and purpose and hope not continual despair. It is steady, holding, containing, not restrictive, our removing your freedoms.

In the last few weeks, it has been hard to go into ‘a safe place’ within oneself’ as all over the world fear is ranked up yet again, and many foul acts and unbelievable things have happened. The notion of the earth being ground that one stands on has been ripped away, and we seek desperately to find help from a source outside ourselves.

The Christian finds this support in God, his promises, and instructions for living, They provide sound guidance, and an invitation to run in and be enveloped in his safety, He is that strong tower unmoving, unchanging omnipresent.

As you seek to quiet yourself and contain your stress find a safe place in your home or another area where you can meditate, and take these verses as your mantra

THE NAME OF THE LORD IS A STRONG TOWER THE RIGHTEOUS RUN INTO IT AND ARE SAFE. PROVERBS 18:10

EXPAND YOUR THINKING STAND ON THE ROCK PSALM 18:2

The dark side of humanity ‘the shadow’ is loose and is having a ball. If we look at the world we could not be blamed for the terror we feel or for the horrendous savage behavior of some people who could scarcely be called human, but let us look at what happens when we ground ourselves in a sound framework for behavior and living.

The Christian has the example of Christ as a framework and consciousness for living, and it seems to me that we need to reflect on this and immerse ourselves within in,as this teaching has the power to support the individual, and the teaching on how to help others. In the midst of the circumstances, it’s good to bring to mind who Christ is, and what he offers in terms of safety in this situation.

The Bible lists approximately 198 names for Jesus, and I want to, for the purposes of this conversation, call to mind those that immediately relate to safety, and grounding for the self, and also to safety behavior in relation to others.

The notion of a safe place seems to be the burden of the global population during this pandemic. This has been a very strange week as restrictions are lifted all around us, and yet in talking to friends and acquaintances, I hear the language of trauma, and within that the possibility of recovery.

Let’s cut to the chase, the trauma continues and is best defined as CONTINUING TRAUMATIC STRESS feelings of traumatic stress are ongoing, and it seems to me that the decisions being made by the government are made for political gain, rather than being made for the good of the population, and this being so they are not helping to create a safe place for the two-pronged activity that needs to go on to support real and meaningful behaviour that supports safer living and provides and allows for the work of recovery.

The lifting of restrictions needs no explanation, as, if we are able to engage our common sense we will see that not having clear boundaries is unhelpful to those who are most vulnerable and are therefore most at risk of becoming seriously ill. It could even be argued that as the pandemic continues vulnerability is our new name, yet denial is rife and this is normal. It is normal because we have never before experienced such ongoing stress and disruption of our daily living, although in many countries of the world there have been clear parallels, including our own experience of living through trauma in the ‘troubles’.

We live in an unsafe world, and as such, we need to be aware of the selfishness, greed, and utter disregard many have for the other human beings around them, so in this period of ongoing and continuous trauma trust for safety and recovery of inner and outer recovery begins with ourselves, and yet each of us taking responsibility beginning with ourselves we become a group although, not sitting together, we are connected through our humanity morality. and just common sense.

In this behavior and way of thinking, we also see a thread leading to recovery, think about it I was obliged to go to the shop in the last two days, and I observed how many were wearing their masks and still standing back, keeping the distance, my friends noticed this also and commented on it when we talked together. As well as being connected as above, observe when you are out and about how courteous our Irish society is, that is taken as a whole, there are always those who are not, and do not realize that we begin with ourselves, but in reaching out to others we make meaningful supportive connections for ourselves and others.

Human beings are tripartite beings made up of body mind and spirit, so let’s consider ‘the safe place’ from the perspective of daily living and recovery through the mediums of ‘body, mind, and spirit. It is not the purpose of this blog to give a treatise on the fight or flight mechanisms within the body, and indeed this system has become known in layman’s terms across a wide proportion of society at large, at the very least there seems to be familiarity with stress language, but I do want to tease out some understanding around the word ‘normal’.

I’m sure many of you have heard others say, what is ‘normal’ perhaps in a moment of struggle to understand how to get back to their ‘normal’ or to attempt to comprehend and hold in place a framework for life and living which could be considered ‘normal’. The pandemic has brought such terror amongst us, and because it has affected us all we each may only have periods of personal containment when we feel able to hold the other through listening and supportive understanding.

At this point let’s introduce the word ‘normalize’ into this conversation, as this word brings to the fore the ability to contain the thoughts feelings and behaviors which have dogged many of us since this terror began. It is easy to allow oneself to think you are running mad, and that no place is safe, and to a certain extent this is true, but one can still create a degree of safety that is enough for meaningful living to continue.

The notion of a safe place begins with the physical setting, in which you feel safe, this can be, your home, your car in a nice park, your man, or woman cave to mention but a few. However, your purpose is to check yourself out and discover what’s going on with you.

Enter your safe place and settle as comfortably as you can, you may find music helpful.It is useful to sit in an upright position, at least at first, feel your feet on the floor, close your eyes and begin, if you can, to quiet yourself, breathing in through your mouth, and out through your nose, follow your breathing throughout your body stopping where you feel pain or stress breathe into this space, and then continue your body journey, try to allow yourself to hang loose, rest, and then return from this journey by opening your eyes and breathing normally.

The next step is to ask yourself:

What’s going on with me? You may be feeling anxious, depressed, panicky, fed up, wary, you may even have your own special word for that feeling, and there may be more feelings than I have listed. Hold on, these feelings are from stress and are normal in the circumstances.

STEP TWO:

Notice that the feelings above, and those you personally list are associated with stressful and negative behaviour.

STEP THREE:

Each time you get into them, ask that question of yourself, What is going on with me? stop and think where are these thoughts feelings, and behaviours coming from? Recognise when they are new to the current stress take a moment in your head and center yourself breathe deeply, and continue with what you are doing.

learn and practice these steps and we will continue with others.

CONSIDER YOUR ATTITUDES PLANT YOUR FEET FIRMLY ON THE EARTH!

The beautiful Fairy godmother Orlando, and her friend Jerry Lament flew over the cities of Europe to see what was happening to the young people. They often flew together, as Jerry was able to define the more difficult or sleazy side of life for Orlando, and together they could discuss and decide what to do about what they saw.

The two of them were a great combination because they listened to each other and appreciated each other’s gifts and abilities. On this particular trip, they hovered over many schools to get the lowdown as to what was happening and as they observed the scenes large tears emanated from Orlanda and fell on the rooftops whilst Jerry began to howl loudly, but no one could hear or see them, for, as far as the young people were concerned they had become blind and deaf.

Finally, they stopped off at a school where a class was in session, and as has become customary the young people were distanced from each other and all wearing masks. Orlanda was very upset and once again large tears fell from her eyes and permeated the roof and ceiling right into the middle of the room.

None of the children could speak except to make a noise that sounded like eh eh eh. ‘Jerry, what is that noise asked Orlanda?’ ‘ It’s the noise of a thing, there are no children here anymore, and sure enough, when they moved around., a bit they could see ‘thing’ written on the back of their blazers. Orlanda also noticed how glum they looked, and Jerry told her they had been zombied to keep them quiet. Once again the tears fell right down from Orlanda’s eyes and into the room.

Jerry and Orlanda hovered for a bit and then turned back to base. ”’Whatever can we do asked Orlanda?’ ‘ They need to get their voices back said, Jerry.’ Jerry and Orlanda then decided that they also needed to unstop the ears of the government and all adults so they could hear the children. They set about their task that very afternoon and as they began the tears of Orlanda came to life and spread around the room washing them all down, and they began, gradually, to come to life. One girl actually danced on the spot. Slowly they found their voices and began to hear and speak…

The teacher who had the director emblazed on the back of his sweater was changed on the spot and began to act like a normal teacher.’What has happened he ask?’ The students told him they felt like a forgotten generation throughout this pandemic they were the last to be vaccinated, yet they knew several of their friends who had been very ill with the virus, and now had long covid, they also said no one listened to them and it seemed like they were losing out on levels, Whilst they appreciated the value of social media and zoom they were currently hearty sick of it and were feeling the need to be close to others.

.Most of all they wanted to be safe, and to be free from anxiety and so the discussion began and continued slowly progressing and opening opportunities for management and recovery.

Meantime Orlanda and Jerry Lament visited all the adults dropping magical tears on their heads which relaxed them and released their stress. The big challenge came in our favorite country when they visited the house on the hill. A double dose was required as their heads were hard, they decided to discuss a booster later.

So let’s return to reality. What do our young people need?

Safety, not to be forced to sit on an infected planet

A voice to reason and to be heard

The promise that lost time re-education can be made up later.

A place of safety to learn how to normalize the traumatic experience of the pandemic,

To be given support to manage continuing traumatic stress

To be part of a country that values and prioritizes their health both mental and physical over and above education and economics.

To have every opportunity possible to use ‘the arts’ to create means of stress release and recovery.

OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS!

Hope is hard to explain, to some degree it is an abstract concept, from what does it arise? and where does it dwell?

In centuries past passengers and crew were rescued from shipwrecks by individual groups of men using a line. Lines and ropes, even cords, are of different widths and strengths and are also dependant on the strength and skills of the individuals and groups making use of them. Accordingly, . the individual or group using them become the hope themselves. let’s tease this idea out,

Recently I was given a book for Christmas featuring lost people who eventually were found. The book, written by a young woman suffering from Multiple sclerosis features a group of people with a variety of different needs but all of them are lost to a greater or lesser degree. The author of the book has a skill in setting out a coherent narrative in which, the protagonist, a female middle-aged vicar living in, and managing a rundown church helped by a social worker, who is also lost and is atheist is physically challenged by multiple sclerosis and by the ‘antagonist’ a brutally abusive man who is trying to buy the church for a housing development.

The narrative begins by describing the way the vicar gets up in the morning and one is immediately drawn to her experience of managing her legs increasingly damaged by the disease, she then having got to the edge of the bed struggles into her unicorn slippers. Having been trained in an analytical frame, as a therapist, I begin to think about what do the slippers mean? Is there hope, or a wish, for a miracle to make those legs, and the body carrying them work? The slippers snuggle her feet and she begins to shuffle into her day. Her heart though is not shuffling she reaches out to those around her finding ways to help them without stepping on their dignity.

The gaggle of the most unlikely people come together, as time goes on, and central to this seems to be the unconditional acceptance of the vicar, and eventually of each other. The trust that materialized in the relationships of the group is, in my view, one of the first steps of engendering hope, and to trust, we have to overcome fear. This is our work for the new year to overcome fear, so that trust can grow, and hope emerge.

Hope, TIKVAH in Hebrew, can grow strong with connections of trust, first of ourselves even when others don’t see our potential and want to write us off, and through connections with groups. Imagine, in this simple way, each member of the group within your body, and within the group of people you can trust has a cord or some cords and as you connect within yourself, and within the group, the cords unite and become a rope TIKVAH, hope.

Imagine you have your own unicorn who comes for you in the twilight and takes you on his back across the skies. As you travel he shows you how to bring healing to poisoned waters, and all kind of situations, then gently returns you to your home and situation. Ha, you say, yes its fantasy, but it has its uses, grow hope, and you will grow to heal the unicorn is in you!

DO NOT USE ANY EXERCISES WITHIN THESE BLOGS IF YOU HAVE A MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION WITHOUT CONSULTING YOUR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL.

MAKE CONNECTIONS GROW YOUR ROPE!