ANXIETY AND ITS SISTER DEPRESSION

One of the big losses during the pandemic and its aftermath has been confidence, confidence to conduct daily tasks, and to recover from the insidious ongoing traumatic stress may even be quite scary. We may not think that we need confidence as we have always,before, just completed our work and living tasks automatically, and consequently not being able to do these things is a huge loss.

Loss makes way for anxiety and depression, as one feeds off the other and can become a vicious circle. Lets examine some of the relationships or connections between confidence,anxiety and depression. In normal, so called, times we would receive feedback from family and work colleagues, and its important to receive this or we dry up.Its rather like having to have your nutrients and vitamins regularly as they may not stored in the body. This analogy does not quite hit the mark but it opens our thinking and we can also make a comparison, in this sense confidence is learned through feedback and experience, and consequently has a core within us which we can access again. Nutrients and vitamins are a need or requirement for good health and the body will let us know if we neglect them. In the case of mental health and traumatic stress we may have less control.

It is possible that this word control is an important connection to our three words above, and gives birth to others we will discuss later. So much of the situation we lived through, and continue to live through its after affects, whilst it still peeps around the corner is about loss of control, not knowing, and generally being without guidelines for the way forward. Even having confidence to earn a living, and keep our families is not as much in our control as it once was,so how do we claim some control back?

In today’s world we are still, although we have come through such hard times in the last years, seeking quick fixes, maybe more now as we want renewal of all horrible things yesterday, not today and not tomorrow. We are encouraged to be mindful, and to use mindfulness which has its uses but may be difficult for the control bit you will not want to be without the control you have left and may even feel it would make you break down completely.

Having understood what is wrong, why you have lost confidence and are anxious and depressed, we will pick up the depressed shortly, begin by remembering what gave you confidence in more ‘normal times’ loving and constructive feedback which you can now share with yourself, and in simple and constructive ways with others.

One day a few months back, I was at a coffee dock in the park a young woman excused herself to admire my jacket which was just a simple teddy bear type but she liked it, and so she spoke to me about it. Simple isn’t it? feedback if I had stayed home I would not have received it. we need to acknowledge others in positive ways ————–

Anxiety’s sister depression can occur due to chemical imbalances and other more serious mental illness but it’s possible many people at the moment have a ‘reactive type of depression’ which fluctuates with the various strains of current modern day living, and the many losses incurred in the last years. We can take control of this through living a meditative reflective life, and not blaming ourselves and chalking up guilt when we don’t feel like it. The trick is to understand change needs time and mistakes so we can learn to structure our days and lives in more healthy ways.

Without understanding and stopping ourselves from unhealthy ways of being we fix without getting to the root, I mean would you put rusty nuts on your car wheel maybe so, but it could be stupid to do so!

As I write I feel sad for those out there who cannot get up structure your lives and go on, maybe you have had to take more medication and need to be in professional care. I hope you have some support and encouragement and remember don’t stop medications without your doctors advice.

The human race is like ‘sisters under the skin’ coping with similar thoughts and feelings and yet also being different learn to balance and share both appropriate thoughts and feelings and different helpful viewpoints.

STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND GET YOUR CONFIDENCE!

PUTTING A FACE ON IT

How often are we untruthful, or in denial about how we really feel? It’s probably a normal human trait, based on many things, not least the notion that no one wants to know anyway, and the question, how are you, is purely a social greeting, not even requiring an answer. It may be more true than one thinks, because in our current times and circumstances people without even thinking about it, are living just to survive themselves.

The thing is that in periods when human beings regress, they do not reflect because we are geered to survive so its every man for himself, or every person even! Everywhere we look at the moment there is pressure, economic pressure, bringing financial issues, climate change with its extreme weather, indeed the earth has become like a huge monster lurking and waiting to attack, its as though the earth which we used to be able to trust to ground us has turned against us and is having major destructive tantrums harming all around us. Sometimes its like the earth wants to put its head down and rest but we keep on putting more and more pressure on until it snaps.

So much for the background, but it is the backdrop to modern living, and i am asking how are you? So consider that question now, as you walk, take steps, and sometimes even run in recovery. Could it be that you have Monday morning blues wishing someone would call you for a coffee, and then you would have an outlet, but if you are honest you would like all the chat for yourself and find it difficult to allow the other to talk so in your more reflective moments you feel you would rather be alone than so needy?

Now if that’s how you are at least we have some honesty on the go, and we can even equate with the poor old earth who wants our company but not our overwhelming powerful demands,

Anxiety is the root and base for our behaviour, and the turbulent and unbalanced chaotic earth is going mad, and if we are honest we fear we will go mad ourselves. It is true we are in the midst of madness running about searching for answers outside ourselves, searching for treasure rather like the old film Its a mad, mad, mad, mad world, and the theme is to look for treasure in an unknown place.

Return to the inner core of yourself where your personal treasure is use your breathing and meditative way of being to relax. The central message is You know what is wrong with you and you know how to deal with it so go for it!

COFFEE TIME.

WALKING IN RECOVERY STEPS

So many things in life can be thought of in steps, or degrees, going on, or even going up. Each of these words appear to indicate completing, a programme, or routine. When one thinks of this in this way it also points to learning, at each stage, and even to celebration of the learning, and a subsequent ability to change.

Lets think of these words as indicating a process of recovery and allowing various behaviours at each stage, for example we can be ever so happy when we move on, and feel we come up in or ability to manage to be natural whilst anxiety and negative change is going on all around us, think how good it is to reach the top of a difficult hill and see a marvellous view spreading out all around you. If you had remained at the bottom of the hill not prepared to try the climb you would not have had this joyful experience.

The trouble with so many of us is that we are not prepared to stand at the top of the hill and allow the achievement and beauty of nature to permeate our souls we want to rush on to the next stage because we see recovery as some thing to complete, and put the journey through it behind us. Could it be that in so doing we lose much in understanding and in using our experience to face into new situations?

If we did not absorb our food we would be , at the very least uncomfortable maybe even quite unwell, so isn’t there a parallel here? We need to respond appropriately to all things around us. Nature has such an ability to renew us, to extend our imaginations, allowing us to breathe in both body and spirit.

Having stood on the step we now have achievement, knowledge, and renewal to move on walking , or climbing in recovery, but its good to remember that no stepped process is complete, we may have to return to the step to find renewal from the pressures and general chaos of this polluted struggling and evil world.

STOOPED WITH HUMILIATION

Walking in recovery is so often burdened by what we carry with us, and by our conduct towards ourselves regarding our behaviour, what we do not always remember is that we are a unified whole, made up of complex and yet simple systems which consist of groups which support the system and connect as a whole.

We often forget that our brain, and mind are also connected to all of us, and the feelings and thoughts that we have registered there are continually having an effect on our recovery process.

Walking in recovery is a skill, and way of being that involves self knowing, and a willingness to deal with our baggage.It is important to acknowledge that, the trials of life, and physical sickness can ,at times, block or halt our recovery, and leave us feeling frustrated it can seem that we go back and forward like a shuttle cock, we run for it as it comes towards us, and loose it in mid air.

Take a breather chill out and allow yourself some space and slack, and then start again. We are talking about starting again with the knowledge of how you did it before, you do not have to go back to the beginning completely change is quite cyclical, and we can step in again at any point on that cycle.

Today we are bombarded, at times with the notion of mindfulness, and far be it from me to disagree with its qualities, being in one’s mind, in the now , is a useful thing, at times, but it is good to remember that all of these processes do not have the complete answer, but rather are a useful framework for support and way of being.

In my view stating that such processes are the be all and end all leaves little room for processing the historical abuses and hurts in our hearts and minds , but it could be said that closing ones mind to the disruptions of life allows one to balance oneself , and enter deeply into a calm place,

Throughout my life I have found it useful to retain and maintain an openness of mind to new experiences and knowledge. Indeed it is essential for considered thought and intelligent perusal of the aforementioned knowledge and experience, and the possibility of finding nuggets within to extend

KNOWING YOUR ENEMY

In a large wood which was kept very well a pathway wended it’s way between beautiful trees, here and , an under carpet of plants had found their niches, and were currently in bloom. A large , and very strange creature plundered about. Thinking he was invisible he wandered in and out of the beautiful manicured areas squashing the plants, and causing untold havoc.Unknown to him a young man who had a drone had programmed it to picture the forest and all the new growth and plant activity, he became very excited when the drone returned and he took stalk of the information.

The drone owner sent the information to the local scientific laboratory and they began to assess the information, truth was they had never seen it’s like and as they shared it that afternoon it became viral and reports came in of how this ‘thing’ had been sited, or one very like it in forests all over the world.

Whilst the strange phenomenon caused a huge stir somewhere within it’s limited make up it became aware of the need to attach to another creature, for indeed, this phenomenon was a parasite, and as the drones continued to zoom over the world’s forests pictures began to emerge of people who had been walking in the forests and were found dead. The situation changed from one of excitement to absolute terror, what was this thing, and where did it come from?

At this time the monitoring of the forests had begun to show up movements of animals and plants from their normal niches due to climate change could this phenomenon be connected to this. Then as quickly as it came it disappeared, or did it? No the havoc it had come to cause had only begun.

The imagination can work with dreams and extend their contents to apply to situations we are dealing with in our personal lives, and now even in our global lives. In terms of the above we are imagining the unknown, to some degree of the commencement of the pandemic known as COVID19. Sometimes the use of our imaginative skills can help us to deal with reality, and we need to be able to hold unto reality as we use them. Lets continue moving in and out of imaginative contexts and see what help we may find to deal with walking in recovery, managing the fear, and anxiety we have been left with from the pandemic.

In the forests across the world it was noticed that there was either a very old man, or a very old woman, their characteristics were similar with very long grey hair, blue eyes and leathery skin. If one could get near them they would have seen the eyes were like deep never ending pools.

The old man and the old woman contained the ancient knowledge that comes down through our collective unconscious, they knew what was happening because they had seen it before, and what’s more they knew how to handle it.

Each of us has this knowledge within us and can access it through meditation and subsequent reflective living. Step into the image of the forest again we have the beautiful manicured forest with its trees and undergrowth, being disturbed by climate change, we have the appearance of an unknown phenomenon, and, wait for it, the beautiful path down the middle.

So moving around with this, can we find any help to walk in recovery living with a disease which may not be endemic just yet, and can still be blown up in size by our fear and anxiety?

Within each of us there is the knowledge of how to deal with the unknown without blowing things out of preportion. We must find the middle road on the path and maintain a healthy lifestyle in our thinking and living, and in the midst of all of this we must keep clean.

Choosing to relax and use your imagination through dreams and daydreams is a good way to remain balanced visualise a balanced focused way of life through your old man or woman!

GO ON DO IT!

THE ZONING BEAST

I have always had an interest in most living things since I was a child even the smallest creature or cell fascinated me, but whilst I was curious, I was also aware of many of them whose potential to destroy almost outweighed what any human being could imagine.

When I began to study at university I became more curious about viruses and fascinated about the potential for studying them especially after being shown an electron microscope, that, even in the seventies had amazing powers of identification and structural elements of viruses. It is also curious how viruses exist,replicate, and cause havoc throughout their life cycles.

When we go about in our world day by day we usually know how to get from A to B, and if not we can use various modern devices to help us, but with viruses we often do not know how they operate, and because we cannot see them with the naked eye we do not know where they are and if we have contacted them accordingly our behaviour in the midst of the pandemic may be of constantly being on guard. When a soldier is on guard he or she may be able to see or at least have some knowledge of where the enemy is, and whilst ,of course, this is not always straightforward, it makes it more possible to have a plan of defence.

In addition to the above many of us have experienced the devastation and loss within our families and friends that this virus has caused., and it is normal for us to be wary and treat this thing with a ‘tongue in cheek respect’ and to behave responsibility in our daily lives, however it is the not knowing, and the ordinary struggles in daily living that stick in our craws and cause continuing stress.

Normalising to work with daily living challenges is so much part of our walk in recovery from the ongoing and aftermath of the pandemic. Recently I felt I could get to know more about COVID 19 and to use this learning to help myself and others to live with it, as hopefully it becomes more endemic and can be managed in the environment.

Watching the pictures of the virus on the television screen was not something I found easy although that curious part of me was tipped to a degree, and I wanted to know as much as possible about the virus.

I am writing from the perspective of one seeking to write some basic known facts, at the present time, and to use these to put the virus in its place ,as it is. I also hope that this will help in ‘walking in recovery’.

Viruses are not cellular living things, but depend, for their lives and replication on finding a host, so they can exist in a parasitic relationship, which, by its very nature is destructive to a greater or lesser degree. COVID19 Sars-cov-2 is made up of genetic material mRNA. The portrayal of it’s shape, form, and method of entry into host cells, on television looked like a berry with a feather in the side of it, which of course was the spike which it uses to gain entry to the hosts cell. It even looked quite pretty——————-.

Things are not, always what they seem, are they? So in the journey through the last years we discovered , if we did not already know that viruses mutate, and change, and may become more and more virulent if the circumstances are right, so the journey ,ongoing, of walking in recovery is taken side by side with, if it were human, someone who is absolutely determined to survive, breed and leave a legacy of even more destructive entities than itself.

Why is it , for me, ‘THE ZONED BEAST’ because it finds its host through host cues. Of course we already know it enters our cells using its spike, or spikes to confuse our immune cells and so gain, it’s destructive entry, Isn’t it ‘normal’ as we have known ‘normal’ to be, in fear of such a thing? Zoning also reminds me of ‘drones’ and their activity which is, of course not always destructive.

If only we could hear it coming and had a demobilising spray ,as for flies. Unfortunately the flies have been created by man himself through spoiling and polluting the environment and they have to some extent released ‘a zoned beast’ although not considered living in it’s own right nevertheless it can zone in and destroy for it’s own ends.

Although we do not know all about how it cues in ,or has cued in the beginning we have the knowledge of it attacking the most vulnerable members of the population. We can be vulnerable in so many ways mentally, physically, and spiritually, so walking in recovery involves maintaining the health of all our parts. we do this by keeping and maintaining ourselves in a meditative and responsible life style, and above all remaining balanced.

COME ON ZONE IN ATTACH TO YOUR QUALITIES AND WALK IN RECOVERY!

WALKING IN RECOVERY REVIEWING FOR FOCUSED DIRECTION TWO.

TAGS MOURNING REVIEWING

In the spring of 2020 the horror of the pandemic virus causing the disease known as Covid 19 burst onto our screens, this genetic parasitic object considered to be only on the verge of living has been able to breed absolute terror into the global populations, and as research developed around the situation the virus matched the scientific knowledge and surpassed it for many many months. If it wasn’t for the danger around it one might prepare to be amazed but the truth is that the virus was more than destructive, and able to replicate within it’s host’s cells with incredible success, quickly taking over the cells and making them their home and breeding it’s family.

As is normal with viruses they mutate and so their genome changes sometimes quite subtly ,as we know this behaviour continued for around three years, but was held considerably by the development of the vaccines. One hopes that it is now endemic within the populations or increasingly so. Current World Health Organisation at the time of writing is still tongue in cheek as to whether we are living with a pandemic, or if the virus is now endemic.

The facts as we have them , and whatever is still unknown have caused serious behaviour changes in many individual and world groups, much of the behaviour relates to mental health challenges, and for many part of this is being unable to relate to the world as real. We have a language for post traumatic behaviour when we talk of ‘sureal’, but this does not quite name the complete upheavel and world fracture caused by COVID 19 maybe the best parallel is the world wars in which so many died and the world entered into economic depression and bankruptcy.

16 million WW1 60 million WW2 6,945,714 COVID19 these are the numbers of deaths recorded on WHO’S site as of 21st of June, but the number of notified positive persons with COVID19 was recorded as 768,187,096.notified as of June 21st 2023.

When the world wars ended the carnage left was dealt with, and the key difference then and in our situation now is that the war was over, but the virus COVID 19 is still at war even though it may be somewhat underground,it’s journey throughout the past years has left a legacy of fear and seeping anxiety which is ever present even in the healthiest of us.

All around us we have people who want to either deny the above, or be immensely positive talking of the return to normal and of COVID in the past tense. So what direction can we take to walk in recovery, now that we have reviewed and considered the status of this pandemic at least around the edges?

We need to find a way of coping that is geared to each of us personally, to deal with the fallout we have been left with, and such coping needs to care for our lives and living in all dimensions, lets discuss some possibilities in a further blog.

IN THE MEAN TIME BE TRUTHFUL.