One of the big losses during the pandemic and its aftermath has been confidence, confidence to conduct daily tasks, and to recover from the insidious ongoing traumatic stress may even be quite scary. We may not think that we need confidence as we have always,before, just completed our work and living tasks automatically, and consequently not being able to do these things is a huge loss.
Loss makes way for anxiety and depression, as one feeds off the other and can become a vicious circle. Lets examine some of the relationships or connections between confidence,anxiety and depression. In normal, so called, times we would receive feedback from family and work colleagues, and its important to receive this or we dry up.Its rather like having to have your nutrients and vitamins regularly as they may not stored in the body. This analogy does not quite hit the mark but it opens our thinking and we can also make a comparison, in this sense confidence is learned through feedback and experience, and consequently has a core within us which we can access again. Nutrients and vitamins are a need or requirement for good health and the body will let us know if we neglect them. In the case of mental health and traumatic stress we may have less control.
It is possible that this word control is an important connection to our three words above, and gives birth to others we will discuss later. So much of the situation we lived through, and continue to live through its after affects, whilst it still peeps around the corner is about loss of control, not knowing, and generally being without guidelines for the way forward. Even having confidence to earn a living, and keep our families is not as much in our control as it once was,so how do we claim some control back?
In today’s world we are still, although we have come through such hard times in the last years, seeking quick fixes, maybe more now as we want renewal of all horrible things yesterday, not today and not tomorrow. We are encouraged to be mindful, and to use mindfulness which has its uses but may be difficult for the control bit you will not want to be without the control you have left and may even feel it would make you break down completely.
Having understood what is wrong, why you have lost confidence and are anxious and depressed, we will pick up the depressed shortly, begin by remembering what gave you confidence in more ‘normal times’ loving and constructive feedback which you can now share with yourself, and in simple and constructive ways with others.
One day a few months back, I was at a coffee dock in the park a young woman excused herself to admire my jacket which was just a simple teddy bear type but she liked it, and so she spoke to me about it. Simple isn’t it? feedback if I had stayed home I would not have received it. we need to acknowledge others in positive ways ————–
Anxiety’s sister depression can occur due to chemical imbalances and other more serious mental illness but it’s possible many people at the moment have a ‘reactive type of depression’ which fluctuates with the various strains of current modern day living, and the many losses incurred in the last years. We can take control of this through living a meditative reflective life, and not blaming ourselves and chalking up guilt when we don’t feel like it. The trick is to understand change needs time and mistakes so we can learn to structure our days and lives in more healthy ways.
Without understanding and stopping ourselves from unhealthy ways of being we fix without getting to the root, I mean would you put rusty nuts on your car wheel maybe so, but it could be stupid to do so!
As I write I feel sad for those out there who cannot get up structure your lives and go on, maybe you have had to take more medication and need to be in professional care. I hope you have some support and encouragement and remember don’t stop medications without your doctors advice.
The human race is like ‘sisters under the skin’ coping with similar thoughts and feelings and yet also being different learn to balance and share both appropriate thoughts and feelings and different helpful viewpoints.
STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND GET YOUR CONFIDENCE!