I used to always feel excited by the new year, and I suppose that may also be about being young and healthy, it was like having an ongoing expectation that something good was going to happen. I’ts good to have a positive approach to life but it needs to be balanced with an ability to deal with what one has to go through when things shift and difficult and bad things happen.It seems to me that the healthy positive approach to life is like an underpinning, or way of being, which creates a foundation for living more meaningfully.

Some schools of psychological thought purport the view that one can learn to stop negative thinking and replace those negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones.It seems to me that , for some, this may be possible but we must also embrace and honour our past as ignoring it is rude and deeply discourteous to ourselves and others, just think about it, if the past were a person being ignored he,or she, would go into hiding,and become at the least withdrawn, possibly taciturn, and at worst really depressed.

So we are back to balance, and mind you that’s not easy.If you have ever used scales in the kitchen, you may have been tempted to throw them in the back of the cupboard, and adopt our American neighbours approach, a cup of this, and half a cup of that………as for the bathroom scales, what a thought, give me a cold cloth for my head quick!! Do you think it might be ok to just put half your feet on?Enough of the nonsense though it makes i’s point.

As we grow older some of us become more loving and compassionate, we recognise the human dilemnas of life and gain a willingness to accept others flaws and failings even if we cannot accept or condone some of their behaviour.Could it be that this approach to life could be part of a resolution to change in this new year, to honour our hurts and struggles, and those of others and hear ourselves and others sorrows and joys. If we are unable to do this the choice we are left with is to become more judgemental and harsh and possibly more lonely and afraid.What do you think?

We still have choice deep within us and hope if we draw on it, even in these difficult times when a minute virus seems cleverer than us.It is useless to rail at the government and accuse them of removing our choice they are trying to deal with ‘Health and Safety’we can choose how to respond in a balanced way putting our whole feet on the scales and not just our toes.Take in the whole picture.!

My husband was one of the first to die with the virus he loved this poem so I include it in his memory.

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year”give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”And he replied ”Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God.That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

Minnie Louise Haskins 1875-1957 The gate of the year.

Minnie was an inspiration who lived a life of caring and social reform in days when women struggled for that balanced place in life.

In this new year go out into the air and use all your senses to experience nature.

Make a choice to go forward! Happy new year!

tag salted ‘memories’

I grew up in the country one of five children.We all had our chores to do but looking back we didn’t know when we were well of.We were loved and cared for by our excellent parents who wanted us all to do well and have a better life then they had they lived for our welfare.

One of my early memories is of coming round from some infection to find both my parents watching at the bedside, I began to realise how powerful their love was for each, and all of us. Loving memories support us when we are sad, they can stabilise us in times of deep need and trauma.

As a young child I remember the pigs were still killed on the farm, and it was hard work dividing them up and preserving them in salt then they had to be hung in a storage room so they could mature.

The metaphor is a good one regarding preserving and maturing our memories.Christmas is a time for memories of those who have passed on thinking about how it used to be and for remembering the way things were done in the past versus how they are done now.There are , however many memories imbued with sorrow which can be hidden away to fester and rot within us. We need to talk about our members to our friends and loved ones, or to a professional therapist in some cases.Talking allows the memories to be savoured tasted and then we can decide whether to keep them for our wisdom store for sharing or maybe to let go those which taste bad but it is important that we take an opportunity, if we are able to process the bad tasting ones as we may be able to transform them also into wisdom for our store.

The very famous words of Jesus in Matt 5:13 are very relevant here.Ye are the salt of the earth, but if the salt have lost its savour wherewith shall it be salted?Without the salting ‘curing process’ the pigs would have rotted, instead of maturing to support the families food bank for the winter. If we do not share our memories they will rot away, and if we do not process the sour and painful ones they will fester and literally stink up our lives with unpleasant spoiling feelings like anger, resentment, and jealousy to mention just a few.There is an increasing trend for salted products which flies in the face of fears regarding the dangers of salt to blood pressure and general health. However there is also some schools of thought re salt bringing out the sweetness in biscuits and similar products I

Life is a journey, and what is one of the worst things, and at times the most exciting is we do not always know where we are going.Not knowing where we are going can be fun because we will get a surprise and in our planned trips with loved ones its usually a pleasant one.

The notion of life as a journey is not just a metaphor it’s real, and just now in the depth of this health crisis the journey is horrendous because we are dealing with the unknown and we are creatures of habit and ritual.It seems to me that, for now, life has to managed gently with loving concern for one another.I get annoyed sometimes at people’s attitude about partying unsafely at Christmas but when I have reflected on this I have remembered that Christmas contains many things, not just the love joy and peace which Jesus came to bring.It is also about endings which can be deeply unbearable and sometimes we don’t know whats wrong with us we may even get very angry and not always know why.

More than ever we need balance, to feel ‘centred’ ‘grounded’ try this simple exercise to get you going on this aspect of your journey:

Who am I?

Where am I going?

What do I need to get there?

One thing we all need is ‘balance’ to allow ourselves to not get caught in ‘black and white’ but to stop and look for the balance in our thinking and doing. Imagine your mind is an island for contemplation at its centre it is green and lush and it it surrounded by rough and turbulent seas which contain may thoughts feelings and difficulties.Centre yourself quietly on the green grass this is a safe place to focus and balance, concentrate on your breathing follow its path throughout your body and it will highlight troublesome and painful areas in your body, stop as you find them breathe into them and allow healing to come. When God made us he breathed into our bodies the breathe of life and we became living souls our breath is our life so let us use it to balance ourselves, to cope with fears loneliness and even desperation.

If this reflection has made you calmer imagine you are going for a walk on the beautiful green earth observe all your surroundings,taste the smell hear the sounds see new things sense you are not alone , and you are not for God in Christ is with you.

I sense there are many wounded and hurting people this year end I reach out to you may you sense God is holding you.

Traditionally this time of year is so busy that there is little time to pause and be actually present with the positive side to the Christmas festival, but it’s actually amazing when we pause how we can become aware of our senses and actually experience new sights, sounds, and smells, it can be as though we can taste and touch these experiences, even more if we pause in silence the senses are heightened and somehow have a relaxing and healing effect.

This Christmas could be difficult with lack of singing in churches and public places.Tinned music just doesn’t cut it does it? Whilst thinking about this I heard a programme about a church pastor who set up an international choir called ‘Voices of fire’ hearing the auditions and depth of engagement the singers made I couldn’t help but realise that singing is a ‘full body and soul experience.’ One young woman was born without an ear so she had less than fifty per cent hearing but her singing was amazing her soul sang.

The heart is like a metaphor for happiness so often people will say ‘ my heart isn’t in Christmas this year’ and if you are aware of their circumstances you may know they are lonely, perhaps recently bereaved, so here comes another word ‘listen’ hopefully our periods of’pause’ will focus us to be able to listen, to have space to hear, and even at a distance, this caring courtesy may bring hope and a touch of Christmas at the heart of both us and the other person.The heart is such an important life giving organ, and as a metaphor it opens up a vista of thoughts and feelings, love, hate, pain, fear and resentment to name just a few. The message of Christmas brings unconditional, unbelievable love which can change those negative thoughts and feelings currently at work in our hearts. That great classic ‘A Christmas carol’ by Charles Dickens has this quote from Scrooge

”I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year..I will live in the past, the Present, and the Future.The spirits of all three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons they teach.

Charles Dickens:A Christmas Carol Tags:Christmas

This master of proses makes our responsibility clear and leads to another aspect of’heart’ Did you know the heart can sing? Joy is one of the messages of Advent think:

HOW CAN MY HEART SING THIS CHRISTMAS?

I think, for a while, it seemed that this Christmas was going to be upside down, not the usual, however I have noticed some things in recent days which makes me think its going to be a lovely time. I am saying this because it’s clear that many people have exercised their minds to determine how they can have a meaningful Christmas within the guidelines imposed, or maybe I should say suggested.Some friends are talking of staging and timing the Christmas meals, so that the visits of friends and relatives take place over several days, others are changing their dining rooms around to create space for safe distancing, come on let’s have some honesty here how often have we wished for space and distance for those we have had to entertain at Christmas perish the thought!

Yesterday I heard a beautiful carol that I didn’t recognise but the message was clear in sum it was about Christmas in our hearts because if Christmas is in our hearts it brings love and compassion and enables us to let go of hate and resentment it gives us peace and allows us to make peace with others.

In the Christmas story the wise men came to see the baby Jesus and in coming had the opportunity not only to bring gifts and worship, but to look into the face of God thinking of that is beyond my capacity to imagine, but in so far as I can go I can see supreme love and amazing sacrifice no sorry, the English language can’t cover it

One of the marvellous things about reflection is that it allows us to wonder and bring things to mind, could it be that this Christmas we will have more time to wonder about the ‘Christmas of the heart’ it is this Christmas that is real and brings about a real groundedness in a way of being that gives meaning to the ‘journey of life’

The practice of inversion or ‘hanging upside down’ allows the blood to run to the head, and must be timed or the blood running to the head becomes dangerous let’s straighten our Christmas this year, face the right way up have Christmas in the heart!

PEACE!

Whilst I’m aware individuals and or groups may view. ‘Advent’ in various ways for the Christian Advent is about expectation the coming of the baby Jesus is the greatest story ever told! However during my lifetime I have noticed that the ethos for some has become more and more selfish wanting to forget difficult people and not caring about the ill and alone. I know that the opposite is also true as I have witnessed a movement of interest, developing compassion, and practical caring for others.

It seems to me that the Covid crisis lockdown and social distancing has had the benefit of helping us to enter into others aloneness because we are experiencing it too, for some of us the experience has awakened empathy and creativity that when shared with others has allowed us to make meaningful connections with ourselves and others.

The coming of the vaccine for the pandemic has introduced hope and how appropriate this is at Christmas time! I once acted as a consultant for staff who worked with the severely mentally ill, my role involved debriefing staff in a weekly meeting.I shall never forget the way both staff and patients carried the psychosis at Christmas, patients who had no hope of having visits from relatives over the festive period hung their sandwiches on the Christmas tree and engaged in other more difficult behaviour.The atmosphere was eerie and touched the soul.It seems to me that when we have an experience like this the positive side of it is there also, it creates a determination and or impetus to change the way we do things,whilst we cannot change others we can be a force or influence for change in how we live our lives and how we behave in a crisis.

Hope is essential for good health ,faith, and positive living. Hope allows one to aspire to our ongoing goals and to create new ones. Hope helps people deal with difficult times and life situations it motivates people to make efforts sometimes beyond what they even expected themselves. Hope clears away the dross and takes us out of the physical and mental corners we ‘holed’ up in, it takes us out unto the main road with a reliable \satnav/ for guidance.

Hope when it fosters the fruition of our goals is, to coin that American word ‘awesome’ it opens our eyes to new possibilities. Advent is a great example of hope as expectation something wonderful happened when Jesus was born wonderful is not the word! I think this will be the best Christmas of my lifetime because it is taking us back to basics challenging us all to create a safe Christmas setting aside greed and negative dynamics to embrace hope.

LET’S DO THIS!

BE OF GOOD COURAGE,AND HE WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR HEART, ALL YE THAT HOPE IN THE LORD. PSALM 31:24 KJV

Make Evelyn’s mince pies.

INGREDIENTS

6 OZS OF MARGARINE OR BUTTER

3 OZS OF CASTER SUGAR

9OZS OF PLAIN FLOUR

A PINCH OF SALT

METHOD

BEAT TOGETHER THE MARGARINE AND SUGAR UNTIL IT IS CREAMY ADD FLOUR AND SALT AND MIX IN.GATHER INTO A BALL WITH FLOURED HANDS. PLACE IN A ZIPLOCK BAG IN THE FRIDGE FOR ABOUT 1 HOUR.

CUT INTO ROUNDS TO FIT A GREASED PATTY TIN SHOULD MAKE 12.FILL EACH ONE WITH SWEET MINCE OF YOUR CHOICE.DAMPEN THE EDGES OF EACH PIE SO THAT YOU CAN ATTACH A TOP. BAKE AT 180 IN THE CENTRE OF THE OVEN UNTIL GOLDEN, SPRINKLE WITH CASTOR SUGAR.LEAVE TO COOL A LITTLE BEFORE REMOVING FROM THE TIN.

Here we are back in the last month of the year.A year of much suffering and change for many of us.

As we enter into the Christmas season I find myself reflecting on the words ‘trapped’ and ‘Christmas’ .So much of the past months has been spent ‘trapped’ in a variety of ways, in our homes, inside ourselves, in our fears and anxiety, in our aloneness or loneliness, and in our mourning for things which we consider ‘normal’ .

Recently I heard that a young friend of mine was acquiring a hamster for Christmas, even though I love most animals I found myself nauseated that she was going to have a member of the rodent species in her home, and in these months of pandemic I also felt concern that such an animal with its potential to spread germs would now be a member of her family. How silly you might say! it’s only a cute wee hampster, be that as it may be my reflections moved on to consider very positive learning from this little creature and I began to feel sympathy, and even nausea at the practice of keeping this creature in a cage. As the picture continued to emerge I found myself absorbed in the hampster’s habit of racing round and round on it’s wheel, which apparently it does this as it needs cardiovascular excercise, or it may be getting sick. It seems to me that this is like many of us in these last months ‘trapped’ by necessary restrictions we may as well have been locked in a cage, but the difference is we can get out both mentally and physically if we try.

This brings me to Christmas which has become steeped in materialism and traditions that during my lifetime have become increasingly secular and ingrained in our cultural norms and mores.It has become difficult to escape them but often a good practice is to go back and establish the real reason for Christmas or Christ-mass which although Christians use this day to celebrate the birth of Christ, the 25th of December is really a festival around a way of life. Christians often feel like wrapping up Christmas to keep it safe but in fact it is a vibrant and meaningful way of life that is not restricted to one day.

It is fair to say that ‘end of year’ celebrations’ have, in the past, had their origins in other philosophies including Pagan rituals, and I am aware that as our world has become larger and yet more like a village folk have become more scared and gone into ‘holes ‘in a variety of ways ,and the 25th of December as become simply a holiday a chance for a blow out , or maybe a chance to drink like a skunk.

In our multinational world we have had to learn to respect others ideologies and religious practices, but it is still important to stand firm in what Christmas means to practising Christians and which , I believe, has a clear positive message for all of us For us Christ’s birth was ‘The Incarnation’ the embodiment of God with all his qualities in human flesh ‘Go back to living Christmas each and every day’ , and just as Christ did create a safe space for the celebrations, remember………

EVERY DAY IS CHRISTMAS SO YOU CAN CREATE A SPACE FOR THE LOVE AND COMPASSION IT BRINGS AT ANY TIME YOU AND I CAN CREATE A ‘GOD SPACE’.