TRANSITIONS

The transition periods in life can be very challenging, as there is no doubt human beings do not find change easy, either change in the environment, or change in life habits, We have clear evidence of this in the last years. In fact the truth is that change is a big challenge not just to our comfort, but to our mental health. In some cases we may find that we react to change, even something like retirement, as we would react to a trauma,

How we react to retirement, may be difficult for some due to many factors for example,overall health and ability to be creative and find new ways to enjoy life.In my experience an important thing is to find something to do that allows one to feel useful.

Recent conversations I’ve had with Linda, Sheila, Betty and Josene deserve credit and ideas for discussion about encouragement,empowerment,service and conduction, so I would like to consider and reflect on these ideas within the context of transitions.

In the last blog we were looking ,at how Patrick had been handling the loss of his wife five years ago, and had now decided to hand over his productive farm to his eldest son. Patrick had always gotten on with his son, and he knew that he would always be respected by him, but that he would be changing many things about, and on the farm, to meet the modern trends, and the constant downturns in the economy which seriously affected profits, and indeed the question of going or selling up. Patrick was glad as he thought through these matters, not for the first time, that his son was well able to handle things, and after all , hopefully he would be there for some years yet, to encourage him and see him doing well with his family and Patrick’s grandchildren.

Encouragement is not always seen as a gift, that is the ability to encourage others, but it was one of Patrick’s gifts and he had grown into it through the years, helped by the love of his good wife. He did not know it was a gift he was just himself loving and without a trace of arrogance in his personality, accordingly he didn’t think he’d have anything useful to do to fill up his free time———– his gift had not been named!

For some tIme after the handover of the farm Patrick regressed and felt quite depressed, as although it was true he could help out he felt the loss of status, and strict routine he had worked within for many years, however having learned the skills of recovery he was able to weigh up his situation and to allow himself to have some down times but recover again.

The ongoing struggle was how to feel useful, and then his son, who had decided to turn part of the farm into a farm shop said’Dad why don’t you take the big barn and have some friendship groups for some of the other struggling farmers, I’ve heard there is a lot of depression amongst farm families, at the moment’? His daughter in law agreed to help him and so support for farming families began, and is still developing. Patrick being so friendly and encouraging was appreciated, and felt useful.

TO BE CONTINUED

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