ENEMY NUMBER ONE

TAG SHAME DENIAL

Walking in recovery it is so easy to cheat through things like denial and feeling ashamed of mistakes and failures. If we think about the greetings we give one another, such as , ”how are you?” We might say fine when in fact that is far from the truth, but , as in your view people are out and about doing ordinary things, you feel ashamed that you are not’ up to the mark’ Isn’t it difficult to not meet the standards of the herd?

Those standards are ingrained in us by upbringing and society’s norms and mores and having lived with them all are lives it’s hard to change them, but now, having journeyed through recovery it’s possible to change , rearrange, and sort out some new ones whilst appreciating the old and keeping those which allow you to live in a new and healthy way.

Giving what society has been through, and because of mental health, it is easy to hide, to deny how we really are, maybe not quite, in the world as it is now, genuinely needing moments of escape to get a break from the pressures, and to feel ashamed and even fearful that you are not progressing as you feel you should.

Knowing and acknowledging truthfully how one feels helps to consider what is normal about those feelings and what is not so healthy and is challenging our mental health. It is useful to ask questions, such as :-

Who owns this shame?

Am I fine?

Having answered the questions a pattern of behaviour becomes available to sift and make it more healthy. I find myself thinking of Cinderella, inwardly beautiful but subjected to the cruel and greedy behaviour of the stepmother and ugly sisters. All my working life I have heard mental health services and provision referred to as ‘The Cinderella of the NHS’ , and somehow that didn’t make sense to me, it seemed more like the stepmother and ugly sisters, often demeaning, harsh, patronising, even dehumanising, but it is the Cinderella because in the overall story we see the rottenness which is hard to speak about, safer to deny, and keeps us in rags, yet with resilience we have the opportunity to meet our fairy godmother and prince, and so on——

The shame we often feel is projected unto us by others, and we do not have to accept it. At every level in society we are made to feel, if we take it, the cause of all the nastiness and corruption around us, but sift it, and honestly accept your own responsibilities. Within all of us there exists the characteristics of the stepmother ugly sisters, and Cinderella, the fairy Godmother, and the Prince.

We still have a choice so look at how your behaving to choose health and put things in their proper place.

IF YOU ARE FEELING UNWELL ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR HEALTH PROFESSION

COME ON CHOOSE HEALTH, THE SHOE FITS, MARRY THE PRINCE!