keeping up one’s confidence requires one to know where they are at in the walk of recovery, so it’s good to review our progress and consider /decide where to go next.
The new year is ,by tradition ,a time of reflection and making new goals for change, resolutions we call them, and as you will know they invariably don’t last too long, at least for some. It can happen that we go too fast and don’t approach the change in a gradual way, maybe using short, medium, and long term goals.
In education, for example, we may begin a training course, and be asked to establish goals for continuing personal development, and accordingly outline a progression to take place over some months or years. Yes you’ve got it!
We are, at the beginning of the new year essentially grasping onto a hope for change, to experience a newness and set aside the darkness and difficulty of the past. The problem in undertaking change is sometimes that we do not consider the middle ground. The middle ground is a place of reflection, and not just black or white. It is a place of options choices and opportunities!
In previous blogs we discussed the notion of understanding oneself using the following
Who am I?
Where am I going?
What do I need to get there?
These questions are worth revisiting as we face the new year and help to organise our thinking to a more sensible goal orientated approach to our resolutions.I received an interesting book for Christmas by a lady Taz Alam. The book discusses in a poetical style three levels or ways of understanding IT’S FINE.
In the first instance it clearly is fine the person is in a good place, in the second instance fine is red lined , and in the third instance it has a serious red flag! The approach, in my opinion makes a lot of sense being fine is a social conversation which we often use in greeting one another.
Hi there how are you? I’m fine!
Hi there how are you? I’m fine [tongue in cheek]
Hi there how are you? I’m fine [truth is I’m totally screwed up, and screwing up!
The above demonstrates how we cope , and get out of balance practising denial and losing our essence of genuineness and honesty, and without these qualities we lose our trust and confidence in ourselves and others.
In the new year we can engage hope and look at our options, or we can rush in and fail again and so lose confidence.I’m amazed at how much is online about dogs and their training and how they enjoy playing and love treats. I’m sure you get the picture? How often do we let loose and play? Do we give ourselves treats? We need to praise ourselves for our achievements and comfort ourselves for our failures.
Consider how other creatures behave! I grew up on a farm, and always loved most animals In particular I loved cows, when they are allowed in the new grass after the winter inside they play and show such delight in the new freshness, They also ruminate chewing their cud. It is good to take a leaf out of their book and enjoy the newness and freshness of the new year, but ruminate reflect on what’s happening and allow yourself praise for success and comfort for failure.
HAVE A GOOD AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR! TRUST YOURSELF!
aoibheann thoughtful reflections 