Have you ever watched a drama ,whether on television, or the large screen, enjoyed it, and then went to see a take two, only to find that hardly had you sat down when a horrible spoiler with an unbelievable twist was introduced leaving you feeling let down, and ruining the experience of the first film?
I’m sure I can almost hear you answer, yes I have and you overspill the story out listing the details, for anyone listening to you they can see the change in your facial features, as the disappointment shows at something , so enjoyed being spoiled.
Human beings require anxiety in normal balanced circumstances, it motivates us to work for examinations, to do better and be better. It also keeps us safe when danger is around and our stress response kicks in, but when it gets out of hand it is most definitely a spoiler, but as with all metaphors there is a difference, and an incompleteness in the example with reference to real life.
One can rush to their favourite social media site and complain that, having looked forward to take two for a long time they felt let down, and utterly disgusted at the take two continuance of the story. You may, if you are lucky receive a reply, or find others have the same view, but the film is out, and that is that, for now,even though the actors themselves may hate the change to their characters.
Films are one medium through which we relax so the aforementioned possible scenario can really go deep into spoiling something we valued. With anxiety , you may feel, and indeed have, gained some excellent coping skills as you live the reflective live in recovery, and then you get up one day ,and bang it feels like you are back to square one, and you don’t really know how this came about. Don’t panic! you are not really back to square one, for in the process you have still the knowledge you have been learning and can use it to return to managing your anxiety.
The essential question to ask at this point is What is happening here? this can be calming and allow you to take stock and take charge again.The next question is to ask yourself, how do I feel just now? It is, of course, possible to feel various things relevant to yourself and your situation, but anxiety and depression are driven by certain characteristics which may be caused by chemical imbalance, or maybe a normal reaction to a difficult or traumatic event.
Anxiety also has a language which , at its core is the same old story for most of us, for example, it has a habit of driving us keeping us going on and on because it tells us, we should be able to, we ought to do it, and then when we don’t measure up there is the downer, that mortifying feeling of failure.
So having decided whats wrong, and how you are feeling now deal with that this moment, breathe gently and quietly, and then connect to your irrational thoughts so you can challenge these. How rational is it to think you should never fail? How rational is it to believe you should always be there, when you simply can’t be? Restore your balance with a rational and common sense response.
Challenge the shoulds and oughts which strangle your rational and peaceful life by talking back to them, and by replacing them with rational and realistic thinking and expectations.
To sum up
Stop and ask yourself, what is happening here?
Listen to the answer within yourself?
Challenge your irrational thinking
Put new thoughts in place that are realistic and can influence you to live more positively
Give yourself breaks and rewards when you do well, and comfort yourself in positive ways when you fail.
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR NARRATIVE CHALLENGE THE SPOILER, WRITE IT OUT OF THE DIALOGUE.
If you are very unwell or in the care of Health professionals always consult them about your treatment!
aoibheann thoughtful reflections 