TRAUMA AND RECOVERY

RECOVERY, INCIDIOUS STRESS

Since the beginning of the pandemic we have been living with ongoing inciduous trauma and its affects. It has saddened and interested me to see folk getting depressed and thinking they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Although society has now quite a grasp of stress related issues it is still possible to confuse the feelings we have, and name them as PTSD, which is a complex illness, and may occur in people who have gone through COVID 19 and been very ill, or viewed or experienced other dreadful things during the ongoing lockdown, and restrictions to what they previously considered normal life.

I have a life long friend who always says ‘keep on keeping on’ , and this is what many of us have been trying to do, but, lets be honest, we have been denying, and pushing aside our real feelings and stresses. It’s easy to do this as we have not been meeting as frequently and just talking naturally to our friends face to face. The face is so important as it reflects the soul, and mirrors the other person’s even when there is silence between them.

Inciduous, and ongoing stress brought about by the pandemic is characterised by behaviours which have a negative effect on our well being, but, from which it is possible to recover.

It seems to me that , for many, they exist in a state of hyperarousal as the ongoing nature of the Covid induced stress makes it difficult to switch off. If this is you I challenge you to begin to acknowledge your problem. Find a quiet safe place in your home or other spot, and seat yourself comfortably, close your eyes, begin by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth then slow down, if you can and follow your breathing around your body, stop where your breathing journey highlights pain or stress and breathe into that part and then move on. When you have completed this relaxation become aware of yourself again, in the room open your eyes and return to the room.

The next step is to ask yourself, What is my story at the moment? Here is an example:-

Jed is an older man who lost his wife at the beginning of the pandemic he had been her carer for some years, and at the end was not allowed to visit her, so she died alone, and he dealt with it alone as none of his family were with him in the lock down period. There was no funeral or memorial, and no neighbours visited. Jed could not link to what was happening,it did not seem real, and the world did not seem steady or safe.

Jed was afraid of the shops, and had no one to shop for him, he felt an overwhelming sadness, and sometimes rage which was almost uncontrollable., but he was a competent man and he began to think how he could manage, he began to go to the shops wearing gloves and a mask, but was terrified if anyone brushed agnaist him, or sneezed near him.

When he came home he changed all his clothes and washed them and himself, and of course afterwards he felt very tired.He also wiped all the groceries each time he brought them home keeping them outside whilst he did this. These rituals seemed to help but the tiredness increased.

After some months he sat down and took stock thinking through his story, and trying to accept that it was real. He began to focus on a more healthy routine for his day, and to return to his purpose and meaning for life and living. Jed had a Christian faith and this helped him because he believed that, although the world was in chaos he still knew thatGOD was holding things in control and in check.

Gradually he was able to be more in the moment when he thought of his story and to put things in their place, I feel like this because. I have had so much trauma in my life, which I have managed, but still am scared by it.I feel like this because I have lost my life’s partner in abnormal circumstances. I feel like this because I am scared of the virus which killed my wife, and I have no-one to help me.

Jed continued by declaring, ”I now feel relief and a determination to contain and transform these feelings.”Jed used to write small encouraging blogs so he made a plan to begin those again , and to apply them to his. experience of the pandemic hoping it would also help others.

Ahead of beginning this he made a list of positive goals and methods of coping so that as the pandemic continued he would live in recovery. He began by writing small articles on everyday things to build his confidence and pick up this competence which he still had, although he had allowed it to go underground. He then made the following list which he, at this time, considered to be important to living in constant recovery, and he knew as he did this, shared on his blog, he would gain new information to review and update his recovery practice.

Here is the list, follow his example:-

Having listened to your narrative make it yours,and decide to change it.

Face your fears

Practice self compassion

Meditate

Cultivate forgiveness for self and others.

FOLLOW THIS FOR YOURSELF AND WE WILL RETURN TO IT LATER–ADD YOUR EXPERIENCE SO THE WAY TO LIVE IN RECOVERY IS DEVELOPED AND CONTINUED.