The notion of a safe place seems to be the burden of the global population during this pandemic. This has been a very strange week as restrictions are lifted all around us, and yet in talking to friends and acquaintances, I hear the language of trauma, and within that the possibility of recovery.
Let’s cut to the chase, the trauma continues and is best defined as CONTINUING TRAUMATIC STRESS feelings of traumatic stress are ongoing, and it seems to me that the decisions being made by the government are made for political gain, rather than being made for the good of the population, and this being so they are not helping to create a safe place for the two-pronged activity that needs to go on to support real and meaningful behaviour that supports safer living and provides and allows for the work of recovery.
The lifting of restrictions needs no explanation, as, if we are able to engage our common sense we will see that not having clear boundaries is unhelpful to those who are most vulnerable and are therefore most at risk of becoming seriously ill. It could even be argued that as the pandemic continues vulnerability is our new name, yet denial is rife and this is normal. It is normal because we have never before experienced such ongoing stress and disruption of our daily living, although in many countries of the world there have been clear parallels, including our own experience of living through trauma in the ‘troubles’.
We live in an unsafe world, and as such, we need to be aware of the selfishness, greed, and utter disregard many have for the other human beings around them, so in this period of ongoing and continuous trauma trust for safety and recovery of inner and outer recovery begins with ourselves, and yet each of us taking responsibility beginning with ourselves we become a group although, not sitting together, we are connected through our humanity morality. and just common sense.
In this behavior and way of thinking, we also see a thread leading to recovery, think about it I was obliged to go to the shop in the last two days, and I observed how many were wearing their masks and still standing back, keeping the distance, my friends noticed this also and commented on it when we talked together. As well as being connected as above, observe when you are out and about how courteous our Irish society is, that is taken as a whole, there are always those who are not, and do not realize that we begin with ourselves, but in reaching out to others we make meaningful supportive connections for ourselves and others.
Human beings are tripartite beings made up of body mind and spirit, so let’s consider ‘the safe place’ from the perspective of daily living and recovery through the mediums of ‘body, mind, and spirit. It is not the purpose of this blog to give a treatise on the fight or flight mechanisms within the body, and indeed this system has become known in layman’s terms across a wide proportion of society at large, at the very least there seems to be familiarity with stress language, but I do want to tease out some understanding around the word ‘normal’.
I’m sure many of you have heard others say, what is ‘normal’ perhaps in a moment of struggle to understand how to get back to their ‘normal’ or to attempt to comprehend and hold in place a framework for life and living which could be considered ‘normal’. The pandemic has brought such terror amongst us, and because it has affected us all we each may only have periods of personal containment when we feel able to hold the other through listening and supportive understanding.
At this point let’s introduce the word ‘normalize’ into this conversation, as this word brings to the fore the ability to contain the thoughts feelings and behaviors which have dogged many of us since this terror began. It is easy to allow oneself to think you are running mad, and that no place is safe, and to a certain extent this is true, but one can still create a degree of safety that is enough for meaningful living to continue.
The notion of a safe place begins with the physical setting, in which you feel safe, this can be, your home, your car in a nice park, your man, or woman cave to mention but a few. However, your purpose is to check yourself out and discover what’s going on with you.
Enter your safe place and settle as comfortably as you can, you may find music helpful.It is useful to sit in an upright position, at least at first, feel your feet on the floor, close your eyes and begin, if you can, to quiet yourself, breathing in through your mouth, and out through your nose, follow your breathing throughout your body stopping where you feel pain or stress breathe into this space, and then continue your body journey, try to allow yourself to hang loose, rest, and then return from this journey by opening your eyes and breathing normally.
The next step is to ask yourself:
What’s going on with me? You may be feeling anxious, depressed, panicky, fed up, wary, you may even have your own special word for that feeling, and there may be more feelings than I have listed. Hold on, these feelings are from stress and are normal in the circumstances.
STEP TWO:
Notice that the feelings above, and those you personally list are associated with stressful and negative behaviour.
STEP THREE:
Each time you get into them, ask that question of yourself, What is going on with me? stop and think where are these thoughts feelings, and behaviours coming from? Recognise when they are new to the current stress take a moment in your head and center yourself breathe deeply, and continue with what you are doing.
learn and practice these steps and we will continue with others.
CONSIDER YOUR ATTITUDES PLANT YOUR FEET FIRMLY ON THE EARTH!
aoibheann thoughtful reflections 