Sometimes we would prefer to forget our history especially when we carry painful trauma memories and shame based guilt, which we haven,t been able, as yet to resolve, indeed we may be carrying this and other affects which belonged to previous persons in our ancestry ‘trans generational’ trauma.It is good when this can be recognised worked through, and new behaviours and ways of being put in place.Of course this is not easy, and requires the appropriate supports and helps.
Of course the history I am speaking of is our personal life history there may be very honourable elements and memories in our history which give us pride and status in life. Sometime back I was considering the word history as, his-story or her-story, and indeed it is often the case that having our story heard and understood unconditionally, and without judgement is a powerful and lifechanging experience.
At the present time the quality of our listening and compassionate presence is very important people are very needy , and without the support our perhaps stamina that was previously theirs.It is not just being stuck but being constantly blocked when trying to move. I’m beginning to wonder if compassion can be smelt? Human being are so amazing they seem to have an antennae for finding what they need. Recently I was in a Centra store looking for ‘the one thing which I needed most and had forgotten’ you know this ground! In a narrow isle which can cause anxiety in most of us at the present moment, a lady spoke to me, eighteen months ago I would have wanted to run but I stood and contained myself.Iturned out the lady needed to share something very important to her. The interchange was brief, but had a marked effect on me.
Today the market, whether online our in the bookstores is flooded with the notion of mindfulness a meditative process originating in buddhism, this I consider has its usefulness for some but is not useful for those who need to hold onto structure in their mind in order to feel safe, as it requires a meditative skill to empty the mind and focus on the ‘hear and now’. I am not claiming to be an expert in this!
Have you noticed that people are going about in a daze? and its not talking on their mobiles its as if they are zombies just operating without really engaging, its sureal as though we are on a new planet where different codes of behaviour are required, but its a response to managing ongoing fear and the insidious nature of this pandemic.The mind is not engaged. People often say in ordinary times, ”I don’t want to think about that!” Stop for a moment and balance yourself breath and follow your breath Asked yourself What is going on? as you do so you are engaging your mind and hopefully challenging your behaviour.You have your history I have mine remember that its a framework holding important information charting our personal story, culture, trauma and coping strategies to mention but a few.Think how frustrating it is to loose data on our technical devises some is stored and locked for use at the right time other data is easily available don’t be ashamed our pushed into losing your story paint it on your mind and use history mindfulness, and mindlessness in a balanced way, they are there for our benefit and to manage our trauma and facilitate our healing.
In the small space in the store time and compassion, and above all common sense needed to prevail.Maybe you have been frustrated that you haven’t been able to help others during these times as you would like remember a little focused time is better than overwhelming yourself, and the other person use your senses but if you push too hard you will become toxic to yourself and the other.
KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!
aoibheann thoughtful reflections 