FINE AND BONKAS

Hi I’m fine and also Bonkas, have you noticed people are really amazing and not always truthful.? I have a son with Autism so I’m accustomed to him, and of course others, using that response when asked, How are you? For him he needs to deny any feeling of unwellness so he can continue to manage his world using his coping strategies. Denial has been very prevalent in the last 19 months and helpful and unhelpful in fairly equal amounts.

Here she comes again you might say! what is this about? I’ts simple really? very few people are totally fine at any time, and certainly not at the moment, oh the ‘Bonkas’ bit? well I’ve noticed that a lot of cute ice cream and dessert shops have been opening up all around my town I presume they are a chain, and they are called ‘Bonkas’. It has also occurred to me that at times I, and most of us are interchangeably fine and bonkers, in other words we are bordering on the psychotic, no disrespect intended, it is no joke.However it makes the point that we want to make a joke out of our feelings to cover up the truth, which is that we struggle to live as normally as we can, and fear we will go ‘Bonka’s’ completely bonkers with the stress.

Naming something is very useful , gives credence to it, and also honesty and genuineness with ourselves and to others. Too much denial, rather than being useful would drive one ‘Bonka’s’ as we are not then living in a balanced way and need to reground ourselves. living a reflective life helps one to examine with honesty and gentleness/genuineness how we are truly feeling, and to take action to change or cope with the feelings.

Negative feelings create negative behaviour and we may need to consider how we can manage what triggers the feelings and behaviours so we can begin or return to live in a more healthy and positive way. Knowing oneself is not for arrogance or abusive power but for the benefit of healthy living for self and other.

A deeply important attribute is our ability to meditate and follow our breath throughout our bodies linking into areas of disturbance and breathing into them. Reflective and meditative living are linked.

LET’S CONTINUE THIIS NEXT TIME. LOVE AND VALUE YOUR BREATH!