When I was a child my mother used to rip out garments we had outgrown and knit them into something else for the next child down the line. She was a skilled knitter and so she could pull the ripped wool tight and knit it up like new, but unravelling within us can be fearful and hugely disturbing as we can fear losing total control and having a complete psychotic break.
At the moment I am aware of much regressive behaviour going on at all levels of life and living, people are talking of Post Traumatic Stress, but in fact there is no end or post to it, as the trauma and deep uncertainty continues day by day and people have, in some cases become like zombies putting time in unable to live life to the full tired of the struggle to be constructive and implement permanent changes in their way of being.
In what were normal circumstances in the past folk undertook, at times, to change their problematic behaviours and could often find that they took three steps forward and two back, notice, if you will, they remained one step forward, and within the change experience new learning had occurred, so that moving forward to change the aforementioned behaviour for a second or more times there was the potential to take the new learning with them and not be pushed totally back to the beginning.
I would encourage you to use this notion of change in the present circumstances, and to view right know, how you have with courage and resilience managed and refined your coping mechanisms even with your basic everyday tasks. Such an ercise may help you continue with faith that you can adapt and learn new skills which are flexible and able to shift and underpin strength for each new challenge, so just as you have continuing trials you also have continuous learning.
So what! you might say, but am I never to get off the revolving wheel. or stop going round in the revolving door! The learning you gain by struggling with change ,and your own resilience and determination can help you to move out and on with new worldviews, and coping mechanisms, we do not need to be bound by the Freudian belief that because we have a tendency to repeat we will remain stuck.
However many people are bound by severe wounds and serious mental health issues and change and absence of structure may cause chaos in their supportive routine, so its important to remember that difference circumstances require different attitudes, beliefs and support mechanisms.
Recently a friend sent me a paper which I had the honour of reading at a European conference some years ago. I did not know she even had it and reading it again was an eyeopener it was a struggle with reconciliation and trauma, and as is my bent, in doing such work I had majored on self care.
Did you ever think that when you work with another in their pain and trauma its as if both of you are in a pestle and mortar together the experience of both of you is in the mix, both are pounded, and there is the possibility for both healing and damage to both of you.If the worker is wounded him/herself they will be likely to be damaged by the work and will need to be cared for through supportive debriefing and meditative living.
You would be justified in asking, what are you on about? I am trying to make the point that during this pandemic we have been encouraged to be in this together so that we can stop the spread by sensible and sensitive behaviour to the other, however no one has the answer as to how each of us supporting and helping the other at what ever level, friends, pastors,therapists—-whoever deals with their debriefing, Are you mad? you may say, and yes we are all a bit mad that is why I keep talking about using a meditative and grounding approach to daily living, We need to be aware of what we are doing and take time out.
WATCH THE BIRDS!
aoibheann thoughtful reflections 