BOUNDARIES 2

TAG WOUNDED HEALER

Now we are in mid April and the daffodils are still standing all around the countryside bringing such colour and pleasure to those of us who like them.A central lesson they teach us, is that although they blow about in the wind, swaying in the breeze they still remain steady in the earth, they are ‘earthed’, ‘grounded’returning each year in spring seemingly so regular and timed whereas other plants are increasingly apparently confused with the global changes.

Thinking of the daffodils reminds me of the need for human beings to be ‘earthed ‘grounded’so we can stand firm in our personal and professional lives. In the last blog I spoke of being self aware and accountable within our lives not losing sight of principles and ethics for living and working safely. I feel this is currently a major concern re mental health now and following the trauma of the pandemic and lock-down.

In the interim use your philosophy for life and work to structure your sense of ‘meaning and purpose’ as you revisit life’s routines and work responsibilities, and review how you will handle them in a healthy and growthful way. Return to the beginning of your call to your vocation or job and ask yourself :-

Who am I?

Where am I going now?

How will I get there?

What do I need to get there?

WHO AM I ?

Are you a’carer’ a counsellor, a psychotherapist or other health professional. I suggest you do not allow yourself to be defined by your role but call yourself by your name e.g. My name is James and I work as[ a therapist]?This creates a possibility for a boundary between self and work and facilitates a place for protective and professional care for both you and your client base?

WHERE AM I GOING NOW?

I suggest you are preparing to return to life following a massive world crisis and trauma.Begin by grounding yourself and knowing where the boundary is with what you can offer. Remember in this day of specialisms, which can often be seen as inconvenient because, on the other hand we have become used to putting everything in the one pot. Instead we need to offer our bit and send to the appropriate specialist.

A recent amateur called it empathy to support someone no matter what their problem and ,of course, this is true to an extent, we can always give practical support but empathy is dangerous if not properly understood. Carl Jung 1875-1961 wrote much about individual wholeness and the ‘wounded healer’ I do not propose to summarise his considerable work here but merely to say as workers in any psychological field we need to heal and maintain the healing of our own wounds as ‘in true empathy we must enter into the other’s world ‘as if’ we were them and after being with them we need to go away understanding what is ours and what is theirs.

Working in this way allows us the possibility of engaging with someone in their pain and knowing what is yours and what is theirs allow this is not always complete because no one is truly conscious of every aspect of being, however being aware is key so we can contain and hold the pain of others allowing them to touch our wounds metaphorically and not be destroyed by them.

WHAT DO I NEED AND HOW WILL I GET THERE?

To be centred and grounded in my work and personal life.To know what I can and cant do.To have respect for myself and others, and to be able to assess what I can and can’t offer and when necessary refer on to a service which can help.By selecting a fresh approach to your life and routine and by observing life from your central core which you are coming to know , understand and care for.

Through adapting a balanced reflective and meditative approach to life you will increase and hone your reflective capacities and wisdom and will subsequently grow in your creativity and spirituality.

Breathing is part of our soul and we have heard so much about it in the past year. Become familiar with and use breathing as part of your meditative routine. Allow yourself to be amazed by your breath. Take time out for reflection.

BREATHE INTO THE SHADOWS OF MIND AND HEART TODAY!